


Dawn of the Leggpocalypse

by Just_A_Waffle_Bitch



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 14:50:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14595366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_A_Waffle_Bitch/pseuds/Just_A_Waffle_Bitch
Summary: I'm so sorry...





	Dawn of the Leggpocalypse

Connor snuck down the stairs at 4am to enact his evil plot. He would sneak into the kitchen when no one was awake, drink all the milk from the carton, and put it back in the fridge. If all went as planned, the next morning Zoe would pick up the milk carton, realize it was empty and shout “CONNOR FINISHED THE MILK!!1!” or “This bitch empty! Yeet!” in dismay before chucking the empty carton across the room. See, the past few weeks Zoe had been constantly stealing Connor's precious Greek yogurt, and would always deny doing it (“Gross, I don't even eat that crap!”) and this would be the perfect revenge.

An evil grin spread across his face as the refrigerator door creaked open and the pale white light from inside flooded the room. Connor's eyes rested on his gallon of heaven. The jug was made of hard transparent plastic, and the milk inside was a radiant, pristine white. He could almost taste the rich, creamy liquid running down his tongue as he pulled the carton out of the fridge. He unscrewed the pink cap, which feel to the ground with a soft “clittle clack” and pressed the opening of the carton to his lips.

The taste was just like he imagined and more. Rich, nourishing, slightly sweet, it was just… perfect. The feeling of the cold, creamy milk running down his throat was almost therapeutic. Connor sucked on the carton like a baby suckling her mother's breast, and moaned softly as the delicious calcium-filled beverage filled his stomach. And then… it was over.

Connor pulled the milk carton away from his mouth, disappointed, and turned it upside down to shake out the last few drops. His stomach felt painfully stretched, like he had just eaten a bowling ball. “Ugh…” he groaned. He should've expected this, after drinking an entire gallon of milk in under 5 minutes. He inhaled and let out a long burp. The noise shook the house. He flinched. _Fuck. I probably woke up Zoe with that. If she comes down here-_

His thoughts were cut off by another, more tremendous belch. He flinched at the pain that came from that one. But… something flew out of his mouth that time… “gAH!” Said the creature as it landed in the corner. It sounded like… Veronica from Heathers..?

Connor shined his flashlight on the creature and nearly jumped back at what he saw. It was about 3 feet tall, and appeared to have Connor's head with no torso or arms, just a pair of long, beautiful legs. It was shaking, frightened by the light that was just shined on it. “What the fu…” Connor was cut off as the creature let out a long, horrible shriek that sounded like it came from the pits of hell.

 _ **“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!”**_ the Legg Connor shrieked. _Okay, that definitely woke up Zoe. And everyone within a 15 mile radius._ “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?” Connor shouted at the Legg Connor. It opened its mouth again. Connor covered his ears, expecting it to shriek again. “Nipples!” Legg sung in Connor's voice.

“Wha… Screw it. I'm not high enough for this. Let's just get out of here before Mom and Larry come down to see where that... sound came from.” He scooped up the Legg Connor and ran.

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction is based entirely on an inside joke in the Dear Evan Hansen community on google plus.
> 
> Astro started it, I just made it popular.
> 
> Happy birthday, space bitch.


End file.
